9 Hints About What I Want To Do More Than Weed On Drug Night

Champions don’t leave other Champions behind. Champions Read is the best book club of all time. A book club even Amy Sedaris could love.  I’d like to add:

“Abolish your fears and raise your commitment level to the point of no return, and I guarantee you that the champion within will burst forth to propel you toward victory.” -Bruce Jenner.

I don’t even know who Bruce Jenner is, but he knows what’s up when it comes to champions. Someone Google him — I’m too lazy.

What I’m saying is that I will do whatever is asked of me by the Champions. No mountain too steep, no feat too unthinkable. I’ll lay down my life for My Fellow Champions.

But before I go on, I’d like to propose a small amendment to Drug Night:

Let’s do E.

I have smoked weed on rooftops and convertibles, at work, in ceiling rafters and barns and nursing home parking lots. On murky brown couches and in black-lit attics. On the fourth of July, on 4/20, on Wednesday. Etc., etc., etc.

I haven’t done E yet, though, and I think Champions would rise to new heights, overcoming the tired cliche of smoking, eating Cool Ranch Doritos and watching Strictly Ballroom. (Or was that just me?)

If we can’t do E, will someone please bring me a bag of Smarties?

[POSTED BY CHAMPION LAUREN]

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