Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Literary Prowess

We Champion’s had planned on attending the reading and signing of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s recent book, The Day I Shot Cupid, a few months back, but could not make it due to unforeseen obligations. We have since been punishing ourselves for missing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to converse with JLH about her extremely sound advice on love, as well as her meticulous writing style that has touched the hearts of millions–scratch that, dozens, tops–of people.

NPR’s Linda Holmes wrote a comprehensive and amazing review, or rather synopsis, of the book. The article is titled “10 Things I Read in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Book That are Not Hallucinations”. Linda, my hat off to you. Please read it (below):

http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2010/03/ten_things_i_read_in_jennifer.html

Fellow Champions, the fact of the matter is that once in a very rare while, we are fortunate enough to witness greatness. Once in a very rare while, we witness miracles. Jennifer Love Hewitt is that rare moon, shining so big and so brightly with her obvious and overwhelming craziness, and the world cannot turn away! So, in honor of JLH and her always-on-screen boobs–which, let’s face it, are keeping us all on baited breath waiting for the day when suddenly they start talking during an interview–below is my personal list of what I have learned (about myself and about life) from Jennifer Love Hewitt:

1. Going an entire day without literally calling attention to your own boobs is a wasted 24 hours on earth.

2. Never, EVER, end a relationship without first verbally assaulting your partner whilst showering with all your clothes on. [EXEMPLIFIED roughly 1 minute into the below video]:

3. Common slang such as “LOL” and “OMG” most certainly do have a place in formal American literature.

4. Being perpetually “out of a relationship” is the equivalent of being a love guru. No, the fact that you get dumped over and over does NOT mean you are doing something wrong. It is what qualifies you to give great advice on awesome relationships.

5. The human female vagina is supposed to be covered in stick-on gems (phew! FINALLY someone said it! Please see 2 minutes, 45 seconds):

So, in closing, I want to thank JLH’s hired ghost writer (maybe they met on the set of “Ghost Whisperer”???) for writing this book. Without her, we never would have been able to get the true scope of the brilliance that is Jennifer Love Hewitt. From her, I have learned to be a confident, strong woman who is not ashamed of having to wear a second set of underwear each day so that her vagina jewels will not scratch up the inside of her thighs.

[POSTED BY CHAMPION STEF]

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