Champion Stef aka “#1 Stunna” aka “Boobles McGee” aka “Wildfire” is a Visual Artist by day, Cage Wrestler by night. She enjoys make-out sessions by firelight and temporary tattoos. More than anything, however, Champion Stef prides herself as a lover of food, wine, music, and general shenanigans. She is fairly certain that you could beat her in an arm wrestling competition, but will challenge you to one nonetheless. It is not atypical to find this Champion spouting off self-proclamations of her own good looks.
Dislikes: Shallow Art, Lady GaGa, Fennel, Chauvinists.
Champion Jill enjoys cultivating her obsession for hockey 12 months out of the year. Her likes include: Dead British authors, the South, “Friday Night Lights,” food blogs and long drives with full albums. You’ll find her at an unemployment line near you in the not too distant future. She might have relocated to San Francisco, but her heart belongs in New York. Brooklyn forever!
Dislikes: Obnoxious people, dream sequences, cilantro, cigarettes, haughty cupcakes.
Champion Hannah has been described as “pretty cool for a white girl,” “not in touch with reality” and “occasionally clairvoyant.” She enjoys drinking wine before noon, camel riding, dancing in public, Justin Timberlake and discussing abstract concepts. She does the Bronx by day and Manhattan by night.
Dislikes: Humidity, the Twilight series, Fireworks, Dogmas
Champion Smash. What can I say? She’s a champion through and through. Her feet are always beautiful and clean; her hair, the perfect combination of baby doll curls and frisky frizz; and her hands intoxicatingly creepy and model like. By day you can find Champion Smash reading books that are nowhere near champion quality as an employee of the publishing industry and by night drowning her sorrows over her meager salary by watching anything that is shown on ABC Family in her Brooklyn apartment aka “The Computer.” She loves kitties (especially Kitty Burrito aka Kittenpants aka Meow Meow), when she drinks so much water that she pees clear, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Dislikes: Candy that turns your mouth blue; People who don’t understand the power of Totally Bad Show; Finding receipts by an ATM that have checking account balances that are more than what she makes in a year, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Champion Lauren spends most of the day writing about mommy bodies and strollers for a parenting website, but Lord All Mighty, don’t let her near children. She doesn’t know what to actually do with them. She also enjoys buttcheeks, Jesus, and dinosaurs, and any activities that involve those three things. This bio used to be a stolen version of a Dave Barry bio, but no one seemed to get that joke.
Dislikes: Killing animals, Eat, Pray, Love (the book, but most likely the movie even more, as well), those shoes with individual compartments for your toes, hair plugs, ew why are we talking about this? She’d also like to point out that Champion Hannah’s dislikes are most likely a direct reflection of her Fourth of July activities.